whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
