Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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