I seem to have left my pride at pride
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
