So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
