I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
