Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
