can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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