I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
