i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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