apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
