when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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