I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
