nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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