it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
