you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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