just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I met the friendliest cop last night
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
