Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
