she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
