plz talk dirty to me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
