I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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