Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
