Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
