oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
