i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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