Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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