it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
