She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I FOUND THE LEGS
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
