i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
wow bdsm is so cute
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
