it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
