yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
