Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
