Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
