Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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