its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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