Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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