If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
