I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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