Screwed.edu
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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