just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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