hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize