Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
