I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
