that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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