we have pet lesbian snakes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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