i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
