Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
