i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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