i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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