I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
