what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
