One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Sober January is a disaster.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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