She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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