something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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